the day that was

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kathu and her son

watching ‘embracing the world’ video triggered some memories in me. it was sometime in 1998 and i had been a part of amma’s free housing project – amrita kuteeram. amma had organized a team of volunteers which was to build 25 thousand free houses for the poor. as a forerunner, we visited every applicant’s address and our task was to filter out ineligible ones. the selected applicant or families were sorted out again according to the urgency of the need and that task was to prioritize constructions for the first year, second year, consecutive year and so on.

amongst one of the applicants, we found a special case wherein reading the address in the application the address, not even locals let alone ourselves, were able to find the address mentioned. to our surprise, even though the house address was in the city itself, it was not at all easy to identify this house. with the help of a local man who had in fact submitted an application in their name, we tracked the location of the family.

it was around 4pm when we reached the address mentioned in the application. there was an old lady living under a dozen palm leaves set against a jackfruit tree. this old woman was in her late 70′s and looked deathly pale. the little hair, she had was tied up and she was wearing a violet blouse and was wrapped by a dirty cloth. there was no emotions of life on her face. her paleness was so deathlike that if one would look into the eyes, it was as if she were not alive. she could not stand up properly and was sitting in folded-legged with knees up and with the face in between her knees.

as was our task, we enquired about her details and whereabouts. her name was kathu. she had 3 children: 2 boys and a girl. the eldest one who was in his early fifties was completely unstable, psychologically. he would not talk to anyone. for years, he had been living under another jackfruit tree nearby. he did not do any work either. he would not even get up at all and would be lying under the tree all the time. in fact, the place where he was lying down was devoid of grass while the surrounding area was thick with green grass. kathu’s second child is a girl. this daughter had got married and then had separated after a year. she was also psychologically unstable. the main problem with her was that she would abuse everyone around with really foul language. no one could stand up to her and she was in the habit of always talking to everything around! kathu’s third child was a boy who was not as psychologically unstable and was in his late 40′s. he did some work, brought back little to the house, that actually fed the others. however his mental stability was like the phases of the moon and almost always varied as per the moon’s position.

thatday2

after all that information, we asked her whether she had food. “nothing is there” came the reply.
we insisted “break fast?” and then “no” was the reply again.
we kept going “yesterday?”. again no was her answer.
with that, we asked: “no? when did u last had food?”. she weakly mumbled “one week ago”.
shocked we asked “what was it?”. she again replied “some raw onions.”.
to verify our shock, we kept asking “where did u get that?”.
kathu replied “my son brought from leftovers of a marriage party.”.

it was extremely shocking. i could not believe my ears. i was afraid to ask further -when she had food before that?

even though i had heard about poverty, i never thought of it in such a condition here in the state of kerala. a local politician also had been assisting us, guiding us to find the houses of the applicants. that very politician has never came across this family although he and his family had lived in the town, alongside the same road!

one of us went to buy some food items. in 10 minutes, he was back with rice and tapioca and we gave all that to the old lady and asked her to prepare food for the family. she was so weak and could hardly get up and walk. she took a vessel and started walking. we were surprised. what was happening? where is she going? lo! there was no water in the house to cook food. she would have to climb down a 50 meter hill to get water! touched and shocked, we asked her to sit back and bought water ourselves. we were told it was her younger son who brought water. we then helped her prepare tapioca. it was washed and put in the pot. we asked her to light a fire. she did not even have a match box. luckily one person in the group had a matchbox. so we lit the fire, put rice in another vessel and allowed her do the rest.

thatday3

while the water is warming up in the vessel, we added her name to the top priority list and started our journey to the next applicant.

that night, i could not sleep. i was crying thinking about her and that family – the helplessness of that lady, the craziness of the children. my tears lasted not just that day, but for a full week! every time when i sit for food, i see her suffering face. i have heard about poverty but had never imagined such a plight especially in our kerala state which boasts of 100% literacy rate.
later an ‘amrita kuteeram’ house was built for her. the locals even came forward and gave a helping hand to finish the house early.

to me, in the past, when amma was talking about helping the poor it seemed only as a nice idea; when amma mentioned not to waste food and water it had rung inside me only as an economic statistic. i had never ever thought that such shocking realities exist. that day was an eye opener to me. i saw the plight of hunger. today, even after decades, memories remain afresh of one of those houses that i then visited as part of the housing-enquiry. guess why?

that was the first time i cried for someone. this is the transformation amma has brought in me.

~ dhyanamrita

watch video

its all about smile

it all started with a smile.
it was very crowded on saturday at amritapuri. many were there for amma’s darshan. i came across a mother and her young daughter as i was passing the dining area. the girl smiled at me. i smiled back and asked, “where are you from?”
“palakkad,” came the reply. the mother explained that the girl knew me, as she had attended the children’s camp here in the ashram back in 2006.
“oh, that’s nice,” i said. “which class are you in now?” i asked.
“plus one,” she said, still smiling.

“so you were in 5th standard at that time?”
“yes.”
“do you remember any thing from the camp?”
“yes.”
“what do you remember?” i asked.
“swamiji told us to smile,” she said.
“aha! do you remember that?”
“yes, very much.”
“she has been smiling continuously since the camp,” said her mother.
i reminded her – sri krishna was smiling, amma is smiling, too — throughout their life. keep smiling…

and she, manjusha, stood there with a beautiful smile.

kurushetra, the dharmakshetra

it was an inner call to visit kurushetra. recent gita class has been propelling my heart to be there at the battle field where sri krishna delivered the wisdom of gita to arjuna.
kurushetra entrace
kurushetra welcomes

gita sthal: where sri krihsna supposed to have given the upadesh to arjuna. a vata vruksh is standing there, supposed to be very old

the surrounding areas are paddy fields. some buildings are also there around. imagine, 18 akshounihi armies were arrayed there. and krishna and arjuna standing in the middle of the battle field. the war was about to begin. when you visualise this you will hear the din and roar of that battle field, the bugles, cry of the horses and elephants. there sri krishna is telling arujna – … intelligent will not lament over the dead nor for the living. i could hear this. wow. feels so inspired and energised.
gita sthal

gita

gita krishna

gita sthal

gita sthal

gita sthal

gita sthal

kurushetra

saraswati river was flowing through kurushetra. there are about 48 kos, theerthas in kurushetra. it is considered as a sacred place – dharma kshetra. thats why war was decided to be conducted here, being a dharmic one.

kurushetra 48 kos

brahma sarovar.
its huuuuuuuuge. i walked along the banks, took half an hour to cover less than quarter of the sarovar. so it will take two hours at least to cover the whole sarovar.
this is where soldiers used to take bath every day after the war.
kurushetra-28

brahma sarovar.

brahma sarovar.

brahma sarovar.

brahma sarovar.

drupadi kund: this is where draupadi supposed to have washed her hair, after it was smeared with dussana’s blood.

pandava mandir: temple for pandavas

pandava mandir

bhishma kund: where bhismha was lying in sarasayya, bed of arrows, arjun brought ganga to the son of ganga when he was thirsty.
sri krishna took pandavas to bhishma. seeing sri krihsna bheeshma started crying. arjuna asked krishna why he is crying, is it paining too much?. ‘you ask him’ said krishna.

bheeshma said ‘”in spite of sri krishna being with the side of pandavas, their sorrow has not subsided. i cant understand Krishna’s maya. thats why i cry”

lying on that bed of arrows for 41 days, before he left his body, he taught yudhisthira how to rule the kingdom, and vishnu sahara nam.
sarasayya

bana ganga

panorama: exhibition of mahabarata

the mahabharata war is painted on a circular wall, continuously, from day 1 to 18. there is an interesting painting – on 12 day skri krishna was hit by vaishnavastra, send by bhagadathha to kill arjuna, turned into vaijayanthi mala.

archeology dept have excavated jarasandha nagar, the kingdom of jarasandh in rajgir, bihar dist.

in kankali excavation a stone carving was found which dates back to 1st century – sri krihsna is being taken across yamuna. and a govardhanadhari krishna of 4th century.

transforming heat

24-27 jun 2012, amrita vidyalayam, new delhi

it was not really a ‘warm’ welcome, but a ‘hot’ welcome at delhi. when amma asked me to go to delhi for the children’s camp i never expected this kind of welcome. they say it is the highest temp in the last 30 years! even at 12′o clock at night if you sit on the first floor, your butt will burn. the water running through the tap at the same time is also equally hot. am talking about night 12′o clock .. ok?

dhyanamrita taking calss

how to conduct a camp at this temp for children, that too residential one, for 3 days? thank god there was an ac room even though it didnt had much effect. still it made a difference – at least you dont sweat.

the children were wonderful. it was a tough task to deal with the kids of 4th to 10 standards in one class. but to my surprise the childern were very attentive and i could feel that they are travelling along with us. we discussed about beauty, love, happiness, goal of life, commitment, caring, sharing, along with yoga and meditation. the games mukeshji had with the kids were very inspiring. nijamritaji and my self were really enjoying the company of kids. the children also had adventure games like wall climbing and rappelling etc. we also joined.

nijamrita climbing

there was special session of talks, games and competitions to be positive always.

at the end the camp was a very transforming one. many children came up and spoke on the mike saying that their life will not be the same any more – they will be happy and caring for others.

what else you need from a camp of kids?
~ dhyanamrita

avm delhi

shyam ke ye leela ko dekh

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8 mar 2012, amrtapuri

early in the day it was very much in the air that amma may play holi. when? no one knew. i saw some devotees walking around with some colour powder. so it was obvious that something might happen. but when? no one knew.

remember? back in 2007, in mysore, one devotee took powder hiding under her sari while going for darshan and she she took out the powder and smeared it on amma’s cheek. she gave amma the rest of the bowl. then amma started smearing golden yellow colour on everyone who was coming for darshan. and lo!! it was the IVUSA japanese students who were in the line. they were meeting amma for the first time. they didn’t know anything about holi. amma was applying the yellow powder on their faces. one of my brother jokingly said that they thought that it was part of the darshan !!!

but today, the news was spreading around. amma will play holi at the end of darshan. so many little ones of the asrham were running towards the stage at the end of darshan for playing holi with amma.

there was a padapuja. after the puja one devotee brought powder and water. amma started spraying water and throwing colour powder all around.
i was standing near her chair. amma took a handful of pink powder and smeared it on my face. she took time to make sure that its all over my face. every one was laughing. then she threw all around, on the sides, in the front, upwards, and even towards the back taking everyone by surprise. the fan above made sure that everyone will have their quota of colours.

amma was joyously singing ‘aaye he holi, bhar pichkari’ (holi has come!  water pistols are filled with colours).
i was helping amma to fill up the pichkari and handing it over to her. i never expected that she will aim straight back at my face as soon as I offered it to her! yes she did. she pointed the pichkari to my face and emptied all that water. she didnt forget to pour some into my shirt – i mean inside of it.

then amma started the next song ‘vraj me isa.. much gaya shor‘…  this particilar line – ‘kanha ek, gopi anek’ (krishna is one, gopis are many). some girls standing in front of amma started dancing while singing, pointing to amma meaning that krishna/amma is one.
next line was ‘see the leela of shyam (krishna)’…
i started acting out, pointing to amma – ‘shyam ke ye” .. then to my face “leela ko dekh” (see the leela)
amma started laughing.
amma kept on singing those line for some more time.

it was superb.
after amma left the stage we collected the remaining coloured powder and went around, painting all those we crossed, amongst laughter and joyful screams till we ran out of powder.

i went back to the room. took off my shirt.  my chest was full of colours. looked at my shirt  several times and decide to archive it – as a memory of holi that my krishna played with me.
~ dhyanamrita